I need a break from this. I have no idea how to take one. I need to exit stage wherever. Get out of this place for a bit. I need to go somewhere foreign and be alone for a while. I’m tired of people. We are a fungus on this earth. It is kind of gross what we do. Then again, I could care less. This is all very insignificant.
Lost art: penmanship. Who cares? People need to let go of certain things. I can’t let go of being stuck.
I am hungry. That is terrible. Tomorrow is Monday. Not as terrible, but still horrible. It is raining. Depends. Anxious. Anxiety? Not the same to me. Not one bit. Both suck. Oh boo hoo you can’t get a lady. Tired of hearing it. Please be more interesting. For my sake. For my sanity. I can’t take the time anymore.
Memories are wack. Bad memories are terrible. Good memories, while good eventually cause the realization that your experience is gone. No matter how hard you try you can’t re-live it. So why do we have memories? Oh right…so we can remember math.
Amazing pain
Wounds
Upset Stomach
Drinking
Hazy
Mistakes
Fluttering
Headache
Boredom
Anxiety
Lack of communication
Missunderstanding
Focus
Lack of focus
Sleep
Sensitivity
Loneliness
Regret
Guilt
Sadness
Hopeless
Searching
Quit
Fatigue
Dizziness
Ocasional sharp headache pain
See trails in the morning
Severe depression on some days
jumpy in my sleep
Made me lose a bit of depth perception.
Made me a little off balance occasionally.
Very quick out of body experience. Or at least slightly out of body, like I was leaving but came back before I was fully out.
Hysterical laughing fits.
Wanted more cereal.
Slight dizziness.
Dry mouth.
Dry eyes.
Slight uneasiness about the world.
Maybe a tiny bit jumpy without actually jumping.
Sometimes concentrate on breathing.
Thank you Mr. Cabdriver. Thank you, for keeping all four of the windows in your cab closed for your entire shift, creating your very own sauna of odors. Thank you for breathing inside of this small enclosed area for hours and having such bad breath that when I enter your cab, all I can smell is human breath. The kind that makes your lungs feel how they aren’t supposed to. The kind of smell that can only be described as human breath smell. The smell of a humans breath that hasn’t brushed their teeth in quite some time. It’s not cold out. You just enjoy staying enclosed in your own world and breathing in only carbon dioxide that you yourself have created. I get it. Thank you more so however for your extremely erratic driving style. Don’t be in a good mood. Don’t be lawful while driving me. I’m only paying you to get me from A to B, not to ensure I get there alive. Thank you for only knowing two speeds: really fast, and stopped. I don’t get car sick at all, so when you punch the gas and then hit the break repeatedly it doesn’t make me feel sick. At all. So just don’t worry about it. I don’t blame you for getting upset at all the other cab drivers. You have rivalries. Anyone can understand that. Sometimes you have to pull your cab sideways on 14th st. to block a rival cab driver and get out of your cab and threaten him with violence. I’m sorry I asked you what the fuck you were doing. I don’t blame you for turning around and yelling at me that “that guy called you asshole!”. You can’t be blamed for these things. I also don’t blame you for pulling up next to a cab driver at a red light that you do not have a rivalry with and are in fact friends with and talking to him. Hell a green light only means go if you are concerned with laws and other drivers. No. By all means cab driver, do what you must. I know I will get there. I know it.
